


Dream of Outer Space

by iktwabrokenbone (apiculteur)



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Space, Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-11 15:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4440566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apiculteur/pseuds/iktwabrokenbone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, grey walls weren’t meant to be seen as something to escape from, but just something to match your grey mind.</p><p>Josh doesn't care about escape. He doesn't care about anything. Grey walls and numbness are easier than pain. (But if some boy were to come along, maybe he would have to shake away the numbness and fog, to let in any happiness that boy could bring. To let in any pain and fear.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Trying to Sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Out of the Gray](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2509127) by [blackrock_soldier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrock_soldier/pseuds/blackrock_soldier). 



> hey kids it is my first chaptered fic and it was written completely on a whim after i read a goddamn yogscast fic bc guess what!!! im trash!!! if any of y'all r yogscast trash then defo read the fic this was inspired by.
> 
> also semi-important thing abt me: im writing for the phandom big bang so that might end up taking up a bit of my time. ill link u to it when i post it in october and y'all can read or ignore that as u please.

There were some things that weren’t meant to be questioned. There were some answers that didn’t need to be found. Sometimes, grey walls weren’t meant to be seen as something to escape from, but just something to match your grey mind.

Grey walls were all Josh knew. They surrounded him in this spaceship, the spaceship with only one window he could see, crammed with people in grey clothes with washed-out skin and dull hair and dull eyes. Josh had no work to do. Only some people did- tinkers, med staff, cooks, cleaners, guards, and whoever controlled this place. He didn’t know. He didn’t ask.

_There were some things that weren’t meant to be questioned._

Nothing changed here. People came and went, bruises formed and healed, wounds became scars, foreheads bore new wrinkles, muscle and fat was lost. That was the extent of change here. Josh hardly even noticed if someone disappeared. Sometimes, it happened. Guards took them and they moved to a new area or a new ship or maybe they were killed. It all felt the same here. Josh didn’t care about pain or death.

The only change he noticed was Tyler.

Here, on this spaceship they had simply dubbed _Vessel_ , there were few attachments. Not many people bothered with it, because it was likely they would just be taken away. It was a fact of life, you didn’t stay with people for more than a few months. When some kid sat opposite to Josh to eat a meal, he didn’t look up. He didn’t greet them or acknowledge their presence. It wasn’t like he could avoid sitting close to people, the whole place was a bit too full.

However, the boy spoke to Josh.

“Hey bro,” he said. Josh didn’t know if he had seen him before. His dull brown hair was cropped short, his eyes matched his hair, and his skin was grey. He looked much like most of the people on this ship. The only thing different about him was that he bothered to talk to Josh.

“Hey,” Josh said, and continued eating his mush.

“I’m Tyler,” the boy said, and held out a hand.

Josh didn’t respond or shake his hand. He would be gone in a few months, maybe even sooner. Attachment wasn’t worth it. Josh had only bothered when he was young and naive.

“Do you wanna tell me your name?” Tyler asked, laughing. That wasn’t common on _Vessel_. There was little to be happy about, quite a few things to be sad about, and a lot of things to make you feel numb.

“Josh.” If the boy insisted, he would give in. He couldn’t be bothered to volunteer information, but he couldn’t be bothered to resist either. He would go with the easiest option.

“Nice to meet you, Josh,” he said.

Josh said nothing once again, but Tyler spent all of their lunch talking to him. It was rare that Josh bothered responding, but he didn’t seem to mind so much. He told Josh he was a tinker, and went on about his work, even whispering to Josh that he sometimes took spare parts to make his own things. He suggested they meet up again sometime, and told Josh he lived in Room 548.

“Okay,” Josh said. Attachment was pointless, he reminded himself. But Josh ached for stimulation. For anything other than grey, grey, grey. One hour, once a week, he was allowed to go to the rec room where he could stare out a window into outer space. Stars upon stars lighting up the blackness, occasionally meteors or nebulae. The time out there was so short, though, and months or years ago, Josh had felt addicted to it. He didn’t bother looking outside now. It broke through numbness, but that let in more sadness than it did joy.

He stopped and he didn’t always miss it. Grey walls could be enough for him.

Josh knew Tyler would only taunt him with happiness like the rec room window. He knew, but he committed his room number to memory. When he took off his shirt to see the skin which wrapped his frame, his ribs always showing, he traced the number onto his skin. _Five-four-eight._

Josh dreamt of outer space and a life outside of these walls with Tyler, somewhere as colourful as the nebulae they sometimes passed. Somewhere where Tyler’s laugh would not be foreign.

***

They had been speaking for a while now. Maybe a couple of weeks. Time wasn’t easy to keep track of. Josh knew he had slept at least eleven times since he first spoke to Tyler. This was the most Josh had regularly spoke to someone since his bones didn’t show underneath his skin, since he still looked through the window and smiled at people who could call friends.

Josh was at Room 548, pressing the button to alert Tyler of his presence. He opened the door, grinning, and let Josh in. Hesitant, Josh gave a small smile back. It wasn’t much more than a short tug at the corners of his mouth, but it felt strange. It was aborted, but not before Tyler saw it. His grin grew wider, and Josh’s chest was all too full, it was pushing into his throat and stopping him from speaking.

As with all rooms on _Vessel_ , Tyler’s was hardly large enough to fit two people in. It had a small set of drawers, filled with clothes and any other possessions people may own (sometimes a ball, a letter, a book, or in rare cases, jewellery). In the corner of the room, the floor was made of a softer mattress material, and had a pillow and a blanket. It made the rooms seem like they had more space than if there was a bedframe as well, and when Josh was a child, it meant he could entertain himself bouncing on the floor there.

Tyler sat himself down on the bedded area, and Josh followed suit.

“Hey,” Josh said.

“Hey Jimsh,” Tyler returned, looking pleased with himself for the nickname. It almost got another smile from Josh, and Tyler noticed the softened expression

Josh wondered if that was something Tyler would keep calling him, if he should get used to it. He didn’t comment. He didn’t question.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d come down here,” Tyler said, and Josh gave no more than a nod. “Uh, I was hoping you would. It’s nice talking to people, y’know?”

Josh shrugged. “I don’t talk much.”

Again, Tyler laughed, and memories of Josh’s dream came to the forefront of his mind. A place outside of this spaceship. Somewhere Josh could feel things and not have to numb himself.

“Yeah, I guessed. You don’t seem like much of a talker,” Tyler said. He got that right, at least. “It’s weird, I don’t do it much either, but I like it. I just kinda felt compelled to talk to you, I guess. I know you don’t say much, but it’s nice.”

Josh wished he hadn’t came to Tyler’s room, because this was attachment. He wanted to say more to Tyler, he wanted to find a _friend_ in Tyler, and this was how to break through numbness to find pain. “Yeah,” Josh said. It wasn’t much, but it was more than most people would get.

Tyler looked happy everytime Josh spoke, and Josh didn’t know how he did it.

_There were some things that weren’t meant to be questioned._

Josh didn’t ask how Tyler managed to find happiness, to _stay_ happy instead of sinking into depression. That was too much to ask. That was too many words and too big a question. Josh went for the closest thing and said, “Do you like it here?” It was the first question he had asked Tyler.

“No, not really. I’d prefer to be out there,” he said. He was biting his lip and considering Josh. “I want to try to escape.”

Josh didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted to escape, too. The more he thought about it, the more the idea sounded perfect. Josh did not fear the death or punishment he may face if he failed, and he longed for freedom.

“Would you bring me?” Josh asked.

“Of course.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: i didnt plan this at all idk how its gonna end maybe ill kill them both maybe theyll escape maybe they'll become lizards!!!! who knows!!! tbh if u wanna say in the comments what u want to happen i might fuckin do it bc im not sure what im doin.


	2. I'm Waking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this has some description of cuts/bruises, not hella detailed but id be careful anyway.

Josh spent too much time in Tyler’s room after that. In fact, he never really went to his own room any more apart from to sleep and get dressed. Tyler was gone for a few hours every day, doing his work as a tinker. Fixing anything in the ship that had broken, taking whatever parts he could. By now, he had shown Josh some of the things he had made from a collection of spare parts.

A small mechanical bird which flapped its wings was Josh’s favourite. When it had fallen off Tyler’s desk two sleeps ago, Josh had caught it and cut his fingers on its sharp wings. Tyler apologised profusely, but he shook his head. “It’s okay.”

It _was_ okay. It fascinated him as all colours did, especially when it dripped onto his grey clothes and dappled it with bright red, even if it faded to the same dull brown once it dried. Blood the second brightest thing Josh had ever seen up close, second only to when Someone Important had walked through the area Josh used to live in, and her clothes had been bright blue and gold. She showed no emotion, like most people, but her face was stern, hard, rather than empty and dead.

Tyler had pulled him out from his reverie by cutting a piece of clothes away to dress Josh’s wound. “Oh, man, I’m sorry about that. Thank you for catching my bird,” he said, then began to look through his drawers. “Here, change into these. It’ll make the guards suspicious if you have blood on your clothes.”

Josh accepted the shirt, exchanging it for his own stained copy. “Thanks,” he said. Even after however long it had been, Josh still didn’t talk much. Tyler carried the bulk of their conversations, and Josh enjoyed listening to his voice and giving input when he was comfortable with it. They had fallen into the swing of this friendship, and Josh was allowing himself to feel a bit less numb.

He almost forgot why he had ever stopped himself feeling. Why he had cut off his emotions and removed anything that could perhaps penetrate his hard outer shell. The mechanical bird was the last thing that had caused him pain, but before that, it had been so long. He hadn’t hurt since he first stopped looking out of that window in the rec room. It had stopped hurting only two sleeps after he banned himself from the rec room. This entire place was set up to be an emotional anesthetic, after all.

Now, though. Now, he had clawed through the cocoon he had been hidden in for so long, and he felt fresh and new-born and able to feel again. Now, he spoke to Tyler and sometimes he smiled, and once he had even laughed. To some, Josh was sure, that would mean little, but it was a huge difference to Josh.

Maybe he and Tyler weren’t so close, and Josh didn’t know anything about his family or his favourite colour or if he could read, but he was still as close as Josh had been to anyone. As a child, he had people he called friends, but at that age he didn’t share too many secrets or do much more than play and talk idly. There were a lot of things he _didn't_ know about Tyler, but he knew he liked making thing out of spare parts, and his favourite animal was a deer because an old woman told him he looked like one, and he didn’t care if he hurt his fingers when he was doing his tinkering because he loved it anyway. He knew he liked talking, but only to Josh, and that once he had kissed a girl and cried because he thought she would get pregnant.

Tyler was Josh’s closest friend (only friend), and Josh was feeling again.

Josh sat in Tyler’s room, ready to tell him all of this. Before, he could bottle things up, if there was every anything he felt, but Tyler made him want to talk about just about anything. By now, he had a good sense of when Tyler’s shift as a tinker was over. He left a bit before Josh usually woke up, and came back a bit before lunch. Once or twice, he had left after lunch and returned before dinner, but Josh hadn’t seen him at all today, so he should be back before lunch.

A loud bell rang, signalling the start of lunch. Still, Tyler hadn’t came back to his room, and Josh wondered if he might be in the hall, already eating. Really, he knew he wouldn’t be. Tyler _always_ checked his room first. Josh went anyway, and picked at whatever tasteless crap they were fed, looking for Tyler in the crowd. It wasn’t easy when everyone looked so similar, but Josh was pretty sure he wasn’t there.

Another bell rang, and lunch hour was over. Josh walked back to Tyler’s room as fast as he could. If he ran, a guard would probably use their baton to hit him, so he was cautious around them. Not that his speed mattered anyway, because Tyler still wasn’t back.

For the first time in long time, Josh was close to tears. Everything felt more intense than Josh could remember it being, and he didn’t know how to deal with any of this.

The door hissed open, and Josh’s breath caught in his throat at the sound. “Ty?” he asked, looking up.

Sure enough, he was there. As usual, he smiled when he saw Josh, but this time he winced afterwards. It must’ve tugged at the cuts on his lips, re-opening the wounds. With all of Tyler’s clothes in the way, Josh couldn’t see the extent of the injury.

“Tyler,” he whispered. There were parts of his mind saying, _You never should have let yourself feel_ , but most of it was just saying, _Tyler_. “Take off your shirt.”

Tyler sat down on the bed, far more careful and gentle than he usually did. “Hey, I’m fine Jishwa. Don’t worry about it. I knew they’d have to catch me stealing parts soon enough,” he said, and he was still smiling but his eyes watered.

Josh knelt before Tyler, looking at his eyes even though Tyler didn’t meet his gaze. As slow as possible, he pulled off Tyler’s shirt. The man winced, but didn’t stop it from happening. Tyler’s front was free of wounds, but then again, the guards more commonly focussed on the victim’s back. Josh didn’t want to ask him to move, so he shuffled behind Tyler to take a look.

His skin was covered in perfect lines, too precise to have been executed by anything other than a scalpel. There were five, each running from beneath his shoulder blades to his waist band. Behind the cuts, his skin was bright red, shaded purple at points. Frick. They hit him, too, and tears were slipping from Josh’s eyes now. He didn’t know if he was more angry or upset.

He didn’t want Tyler to see his eyes, so walked to Tyler’s drawers, pressing a small button beside them. A door opened to reveal Tyler’s tiny bathroom, and Josh picked up his towel and wetted it. The blood might drip and stain Tyler’s bed if they weren’t cleaned, so Josh set about dabbing at them at trying to stop them bleeding. Once he had made his best effort, he rooted around Tyler’s drawers to find the shirt Josh had bled on after catching the bird. It wasn’t as though it could be used anyway, so Josh used it as a makeshift dressing.

If Tyler had been hurt in any other way than being punished, they could have went down to the Med Bay, but the staff knew better than to try treat someone who had misbehaved. Depending on what they had been punished for, it could earn the staff the same punishment.

Josh took the shirt Tyler had bled onto and bundled it up in the corner of his clothes drawer. When he turned back, Tyler had rolled over to lie on his front, and he patted the space beside him. “C’mon, I’m okay now, we can chat.”

Josh obliged, and they spoke as normal, only ever broken when Tyler occasionally winced.

***

It was weird how Josh didn’t regret it. Didn’t regret allowing himself to feel. He told Tyler that he didn’t understand it, but his friend had just smiled.

“I guess you got tired of feeling numb, huh?” he said.

“Yeah.” The days _had_  been longer when Tyler wasn’t there. “Feeling never ended well for me before, but, uh, it’s okay. I feeling happy with you.”

Tyler gave him a fond look. “Yeah, me too.”

They didn’t speak for a while, then Tyler sighed.

“Josh?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“We need to get out of here. I hate it here, and out there can’t be worse, can it?” he said, his voice ever so quiet now. Even if the guards couldn’t hear them right now, Josh was always terrified when he so much as thought about escape. If they were discovered, examples would be made of them when they were executed.

“I think this is as bad as it gets, Ty,” he agreed.

“Yeah. I just want to see colour up close and feel something without always being a bit afraid,” he said. He looked at Josh, lying beside him. “I made something. Something out of the spare parts. I’ve been working on it for. I don’t know. A long time. But it should help us get out.”

Tyler stood up and opened his drawers. Inside, there was a small gadget, about the size of two fists. Josh didn’t know what it did, but he trusted that it would help them.

Josh’s heart was beating too fast. “Do you think it’ll work?”

Tyler grinned. “Well, if it doesn’t, we’ll be killed, so I hope so,” he said.

At that, Josh laughed. Even with fresh feelings, he did not fear death. It was better than being trapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres only like one or two chapters left and i still dk what i want the end to be but at least i kno theres gonna be liZARDS!!!! heck yea!!! who needs planning theres lizards!!!


	3. I Am on the Run and Go

It was the first time that Josh had been thankful about how little the guards cared for all the passengers. If they cared more, or thought more of them, maybe they would bother to station more guards throughout the ship. As long as no one did anything suspicious, or tried to speak to the guards, it tended to be easy enough to walk freely through the halls, even at night.

They didn’t waste time waiting around in the ship, planning out how they would escape. Tyler’s gadget wasn’t too complex. Essentially, it would force open any doors they came across, or be able to lock them if needed.

Even after living on this spaceship for his entire life, Josh didn’t know much about the place. He had lived by the motto _there were some things that weren’t meant to be questioned_ for as long as he could remember. His family had told him that since he was a child. By now, he had realised that it was in part because they didn’t have the answers, but it still rung true. He didn’t need to know the real name of this ship, or who controlled it, or how many people lived in it. It didn’t matter, because it wouldn’t change a thing if he knew, and they would be gone in a day’s time anyway.

Josh went through his last day on _Vessel_  much as he had all the days previous. Wake up, wander around, go to Tyler’s room, talk to Tyler, eat lunch, waste time with Tyler, eat dinner. The only thing different was that he didn’t go back to his own room after dinner, and he didn’t sleep. They stayed awake until the ship lights in the halls had been dimmed to simulate night time, at which point they left Tyler’s room.

As expected, no guards stopped them. They walked as quietly as possible, not talking. Some guards used talking at night as an excuse to punish people. They were all sadists, from what Josh had seen. Never had he met a nice guard.

The main worry was concealing Tyler’s creation. Their clothes didn’t have pockets, and if someone saw Tyler carrying it, he would be questioned or hurt. He tried to hide it in his fist, half hidden in his sleeve, and pressed to his leg. Josh could hear his heavy breathing, and brushed his hand against Tyler’s to comfort him.

When they reached the next corridor, one with no guards, he whispered a thank you, then pointed to a turn off a few feet away. Tyler had worked in the Shuttle Bay once, repairing a ship, and his knowledge came in handy now. He could remember the way there, and he knew what the ships looked like, and was pretty sure he could work out how to control one.

It wasn’t the most solid reassurance, but they were set on this anyway. Besides, if they didn’t get away soon, one of them was sure to change areas. Until recently, Josh hadn’t been sure why everyone was shuffled around so often, but it must be to stop this exact situation from happening. To further encourage the numbness and acceptance, and prevent plans of escape or uprising.

The Shuttle Bay actually had a guard, but only one. It wasn’t such a huge surprise, it was to be expected that people would be guarding the places from which people could escape. The guard looked at them with a smirk, then settled their eyes on Tyler’s hand.

“What you got there, boy?” they asked, nodding to the gadget. “You’d better hand whatever it is over so I can take a look.”

Tyler didn’t move, apart from the tremors running through his body.

“You disobeying me? ‘Cause, y’know, if you were, I could choose whatever punishment I wanted for you, _boy_.”

“Ty,” Josh whispered, taking it from his hand. Tyler let him take it, still frozen with his eyes fixed on the guard.

The guard looked satisfied as Josh held it out to them, before he drew his arm back and used it to hit them across the face. There was a crack, and they collapsed. They weren’t dead, he hoped, but they weren’t going anywhere.

Tyler looked from the unconscious guard to Josh, then held his hand out to take the gadget back. He attached it to the middle of the door, then pressed a button. The doors groaned as they were pulled apart, gaining a wince from Josh. There were guards not so far away, and they must have heard it, would probably come and investigate.

They walked into the room, and Tyler picked the closest shuttle to open with his device. It made the same wailing sound as the last door, and Josh boarded as Tyler sprinted to the huge door at the end of the Shuttle Bay. It struggled to open the larger door, but within ten seconds, it had been forced open.

Tyler came back to the shuttle, muttering under his breath as he tried to work out the controls. The door closed, protecting them from the guards who soon walked into the room. It was a minute of them banging on the doors and calling for backup before the shuttle shuddered and moved, gliding out of the bay.

Josh collapsed into a chair, covering his face with his hands and trying to steady himself. They were _out_. They were free of _Vessel_ , and he should be happy, and he was sure he would be later, but right now he was just afraid and confused. They had escaped and the people who Josh had spent his entire life being terrified of had been completely unable to stop him, just uselessly hitting the doors of their ship and _asking_ them to stop trying to escape.

And now. Now he and Tyler could do whatever they wanted. Tyler was still pressing buttons, pulling up maps of where they were now he had managed to make the ship move without trembling. They were free. They were going somewhere. They would find somewhere colourful where they were allowed to do what they wanted and things might even be okay. They might even be happy.

Josh didn’t talk for a while. _Vessel_  was too far away for them to see, and they couldn’t see any smaller ships following them or trying to find them. And why would they bother anyway? They were two people out of many, with one small ship out of hundreds. The passengers wouldn’t even realise anyone had ever escaped. Maybe there were escapes every day. No one but the guards and the people controlling it would be aware.

It was all a bit much for Josh. He moved over to the chair beside Tyler, taking a look at the maps. Tyler looked confused.

“What’s up, bro?” Josh asked.

Tyler sighed, and pointed at one of the green dots, the one they were closest to. “All of these? They’re planets that are inhabited. If you tap it, it brings up some basic info about it, and I’ve checked out all the ones we’re close to, and they’re all completely fine, Josh,” Tyler said.

“That’s good?” Josh said, not sure why Tyler seemed upset by this.

“Why didn’t _Vessel_ land on one of the planets? Why are we just flying around when we could be there? I mean, I thought _Vessel_ was maybe supposed to be taking us to somewhere we could live. I don’t know. But why are we just flying past all these places?” he asked.

Josh took his hand. “I dunno, Ty.” _There were some things that weren’t meant to be questioned_. “Hey, let’s just head for the closest planet, okay? Nothing about _Vessel_ makes sense, don’t bother worrying about it. But we’re free now, Ty.”

Tyler shook his head and gave a weak smile. “Yeah, you’re right, bro,” he said. “I’ll try programme in a course for that planet and we can sleep.”

They didn’t have any beds on the ship, nor blankets and pillows, so they just slept curled around each other. They would still wake up with aching necks and backs, but at least they weren’t cold. Josh couldn’t help but appreciated being close to Tyler like this, either. He was warm and smelt nice, and he looked cute when he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theres gonna be one more chapter (maybe two???) and an epilogue. also i have kinDa planned the end!!! what a revolutionary thing!!!


	4. Stranger Creatures Than When We All Started off As Kids

It took two days before they were in orbit of the planet. The small ship they had stolen didn’t seem to be intended for journeys this long, if the lack of food and beds was anything to go by. They had water, but that was the extent of their supplies. Even if the food back on _Vessel_ was terrible, they at least got three meals a day. Neither of them had ever been so long without food, and Josh was desperate to land so they could try find some.

It was setting in for Josh that if the natives didn’t like him and Tyler, they were completely at their mercy. He wasn’t sure how much longer their water supply would last for, but he doubted they would be able to find their way another inhabited planet before running out. Whatever reservations Josh had, they had to land.

He would rather be allowed to walk around in circles as they landed, but his hunger made him weak, and Tyler said the landing may be bumpy. He strapped himself into the seat closest to Tyler, clutching onto the armrests.

“Okay?” Tyler asked, smiling at him.

Josh gave a quick nod, looking directly ahead.

“Hey, Josh, it’s gonna be okay,” Tyler said. “I mean, we said that it couldn’t be worse than _Vessel_ , didn’t we?”

“Yeah,” Josh said, voice quiet. Tyler took his hand and squeezed it, making Josh relax his grip on the armrests somewhat. As Tyler comforted him, he gradually stopped being quite so tense.

“Okay Josh, you ready?” he asked once again.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

Tyler began pressing buttons on the screen, and they were heading straight for the planet, the name of which Josh wasn’t sure that he had ever been told. It was bright greens and blues, obscured by white. They were moving towards it too fast for Josh’s liking, so he closed his eyes tight. It wasn’t much better, if he was honest. It forced him to focus on the trembling and occasional jerks of the ship, Tyler’s mutters of, _“C’mon, c’mon!”_

Josh wasn’t sure how long it took before he felt them impact the ground, throwing Josh so his shoulders pressed hard against his harness. He wouldn’t be surprised if he had bruises from it, and he struggled to breathe.

He didn’t want to open his eyes, not even as he heard Tyler undo his harness and get out of the chair.

“Josh. Josh, you have to see this,” he whispered, putting his hand on Josh’s bicep. “It’s so _beautiful_.”

Cautious, he opened his eyes. After so long with them closed, the brightness stung. Through the windows at the front, he could see green stretching as far as he could see. From what he had read in books, he knew they were surrounded by trees and hills, and the colour speckling the grass must be small flowers. Josh didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to react to this all.

Still looking out the window, he patted the air, trying to catch Tyler’s hand. Tyler held his hand tightly until Josh had to unbuckle himself, standing on shaking feet.

“Do you wanna go outside, Josh?” Tyler asked, his voice still not much above a whisper. Josh didn’t blame him, it felt wrong to disturb the air too much when they had just seen one of the most amazing things out there. Josh was in awe of this planet.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s go,” he said. There was a distant part of him aware that this planet’s atmosphere could be poison to them, or the ground could swallow them up, or the natives could kill them, but he didn’t care. They were there, and it looked perfect, and Tyler was holding his hand as they walked out the door.

Walking on grass wasn’t quite the same as walking on hard floors, and the planet didn’t have the same quiet whirring in the background, the buzz of the spaceship. There were still some noises, but Josh didn’t know what any of them were caused by. This was all so new to him.

Once again, Josh was unable to quantify the amount of time spent walking around and staring at various things, whispering to Tyler about the _colours_ , so many colours all around them. Nothing was grey apart from them.

As they crouched and watched a small yellow and black creature fly around, Josh heard a noise he _did_ recognise. “Ty. Ty, do you hear that?” he said, turning to look behind him. He couldn’t see anything.

Tyler was silent for a few seconds, then the noise came again. Two people talking, not bothering to control the volume of their voices.

“Well, no, it doesn’t quite work like that,” one said, sounding a bit exasperated. “I mean, if I were to glue feathers to my body, that wouldn’t mean I could fly, would it?”

“No, but that’s because you don’t have wings. If you had wings, you would be able to fly,” a different voice said.

Josh stared at Tyler, not sure how to react. Should they greet them? How come they were speaking the same language? Should they hide? They didn’t _sound_ that hostile, but there was no way they could predict the two strangers’ reactions to them.

They were still in the same place, staring at each other and panicking about what they should do, when the strangers broke through the tree line. From the distance of about thirty feet, they looked overwhelmingly _human_. Bipedal, four limbs, a regular face- nothing about them seemed alien, apart from the colour. They both had more colourful skin, like everyone on the spaceship apart from the passengers. They were dressed colourfully, too, one in red, whilst the other wore mainly white, with gold accents.

The one in red, who had been speaking, stopped half sentence, and grabbed the other’s arm to hold them back. “Sjin, look,” they said, quiet, and pointed to the two of them.

The other- Sjin, it would seem- made an interested sound. “Oh, who are they?” they asked. “Should we talk to them? They look kinda scared. I don’t think they’ll attack us.”

The other seemed less sure, trying to tug Sjin back into the tree line, even as they walked towards Josh and Tyler.

Their approach kicked Josh into action, and he tried to scramble away, followed by Tyler.

“Oh, oh, no! No, we’re not gonna hurt you, c’mon, it’s okay! We just wanna talk to you, okay?” Sjin called after them.

Josh wasn’t listening, but it didn’t matter. His vision went black for a few seconds, and then he wasn’t quite sure what had happened. He- he was shrunk, maybe? He was tiny, and Sjin was picking him up in one hand, and holding a small creature in the other hand. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” they said, looking between Josh and the other creature. Looking around, Josh couldn’t see Tyler anywhere.

As Sjin’s friend started shouting, he realised the creature _was_ Tyler. Most likely meaning that Josh looked the same.

“You turned them into fucking _lizards_ , Sjin? Why the fuck did you do that? Oh my _god_ , I hate you, what are you doing?” they said, rubbing at their eyes. They looked at Josh and Tyler. “God, I’m so sorry for him. Don’t worry, we can turn you back, but I guess we might as well take you back to our place to do that. I’m Xephos, this is Sjin. I guess you two can introduce yourselves when you’re not fucking _lizards_.”

If he tried, Josh probably would have been able to jump off Sjin’s hand, but if he had managed to turn them into lizards, Josh wasn’t quite sure what else he could do. Xephos muttered about how the two of them must be scared out of their wits, and how much of a dickhead Sjin was. For his part, Sjin just giggled guiltily.

“I’m sorry! I panicked, they were running away,” he said. Xephos didn’t reply, and they reached a small building soon enough.

Sjin gently put them down on a table, and began typing into a computer, not quite so different to the one’s on _Vessel_. “Okay, you should be yourselves in a second, just-” Sjin pressed a couple more buttons, and Josh was once again unable to see. “There!”

Josh regained sight, once again in his normal body and clothes. He thought that it would make sense if he was angry now, or afraid or something else. Instead, he didn’t find himself that bothered by what had happened. If nothing else, they now knew that the natives on this planet were a _lot_ like humans, had advanced technology, and were friendly. As unsettling as being a lizard had been, it wasn’t a hostile action.

Josh looked over to Tyler, taking his hand once again.

“You okay?” Tyler whispered into his ear.

Josh nodded, and gave him a smile to reassure him. “I don’t know what’s happening but they’re not hurting us. They seem… nice?”

Tyler giggled, and Xephos cleared his throat.

“Um, hi. I’m sorry about Sjin,” he said.

Josh glanced to Tyler, hoping he wouldn’t have to talk to them. By now, he was okay with talking to Tyler, but he preferred not to talk to other people.

“We’re not hurt,” Tyler said, then hesitated. At this point, their main priority was food, and he was sure Tyler was trying to gather the courage to ask. Still, there were worries of poison and offending Xephos and Sjin. Neither of them understood this world, or what would offend or anger the two people.

Xephos saw Tyler’s hesitation, and jumped in. “Not to be rude, but who are you two, and why did you crash your spaceship here? You quite human,” he said.

Tyler swallowed. “Do you have food? If you give us food, we’ll explain,” he bargained. From the firm set of his jaw, Josh was sure he was aiming for stern, but it was difficult when everything about him looked unhealthy.

“Oh, of course, I’ll go get something for you,” Sjin said, leaving the room.

Xephos tried to make conversation with them as Sjin retrieved food for them, but gave up after a minute of short, unwilling responses.

They didn’t speak as they ate. They were too confused by the new flavours, and too hungry. Everything on _Vessel_ tasted the same, and Josh had never had anything which had as much flavour as the food Xephos and Sjin fed them. The two men seemed amused by their amazement, but didn’t comment.

It was only after they ate that they explained what had happened, from who they were to where they were from, why they escaped and how. Neither Xephos nor Sjin interrupted them as Tyler spoke, supported by the odd addition from Josh. They were, however, sharing worried looks.

“They know something,” Josh said to Tyler, low enough for Sjin and Xephos not to hear. Tyler gave a short nod.

“So?” Tyler asked. “You know something about us or _Vessel_?”

Xephos sighed. “We do. The ship- _Vessel_ , you called it, it’s really called the _Larson_. It’s- it’s a prison ship. I mean, it was. It’s originally from this planet, but it was launched a couple hundred years ago. People didn’t want the prisons here on Earth to fill up, so it was decided that we’d just send them away on a ship. Sure, why not, saves space. Just fill a ship with some people doing a life sentence, doesn’t matter where they are.

“But it wasn’t well planned, so all these prisoners started having kids, right? And there were some laws in place saying that those kids couldn’t be taken away. So there’s this huge ship out there, just flying around with a shit ton of prisoners and their families, and no one wants it coming back, because the prisoners are bound to be angry. For ages now people have been trying to get it down, though, because all the original prisoners will be dead by now, and you can’t imprison their relatives for no reason. It’s- it’s very _complicated_  though, it’s not that simple. And the people running it found some loopholes, so no one back on Earth can force them to release everyone.”

Josh didn’t understand. Or, rather, he did, but he didn’t know how to process all that. They had lived like that for their whole lives because, a few generations back, some relatives Josh had never met committed a crime? He was hyperventilating and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Tyler faced him, talking to him and trying to calm him down. It took a few minutes, he was eventually breathing almost normally, despite his entire life and everything he knew having just been uprooted.

“But we’ve escaped now, haven’t we?” Josh asked, staring at the wall behind Sjin and Xephos. “We can tell them what happened, and they’ll free everyone else?”

Xephos gave him a kind smile. “We’ll do what we can to help you and Tyler. There’s a lot of people who already want the people on that ship to be free, and you can only spur on the attempts to free them,” he said.

Sjin stood up. “Okay, well, you two seem tired. I could show you to the spare room?” he suggested.

“Thank you,” Tyler said, helping Josh up.

They had to share a bed, but they weren’t bothered. Josh had never felt more tired. So many new things in such a short amount of time had seemed to mentally, emotionally, and physically exhaust him. He had never slept better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally, an explanation for everything!!! feat josh n tyler as lizards and yogscast xephos n sjin bc i needed a couple characters for the plot n who better than my adorable children ((i am terrible ik ik))


	5. Things Have Changed for Me (And That's Okay)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow the last chapter!!! i thought this chapter was gonna be super bad but its not tho u still might not rly like it tbh idk friends!!!!

In the next three months, more things happened than in the rest of his life combined. He still wasn’t quite sure how old he was, but Xephos and Sjin had guessed he was in his early twenties. There were a lot of lawyers he and Tyler had to speak to in order to help land the _Larson_ , but it came down eventually. The accusations of abusing the passengers were proven, and it landed back on Earth a little over three months after Tyler and Josh arrived on Earth.

Josh and Tyler managed to find a place together, and they both noticed colour in their skin for the first time. Tyler looked twice as beautiful when he was tanned, with a sparkle in his eyes, his hair glossy instead of dull.

They had been so busy with the _Larson_ case that they hadn’t actually done many things on Earth. They understood the basics, though, so they were going out shopping together, loading up on energy drinks and sweets. Flavour was one of the many things they had been deprived of, and now indulged in as much as possible.

Whilst trying to find a new pair of headphones- as soon as Josh had been introduced to music, he had fallen in love- he wandered across the beauty aisle. The pictures of people bright hair had Josh captivated, and he picked up four boxes of various different coloured dyes.

It took him a minute to find Tyler again, at which point he showed them the boxes. “Ty, look! You can make your hair different colours,” he said, holding out the boxes. Tyler’s eyes lit up.

“Sweet! Oh man, we have to get those. Do you wanna do that tonight?” Tyler asked, grinning.

Josh nodded. They dyed his hair bright red, and Josh never got tired of looking at it in the mirror, or of Tyler’s smile when he saw it. It went a different colour every month after that.

For a long time, life was strange. It was quiet, but not the silence that rang in your ears and made your mind ache and buzz. It was a comfortable quiet, and they were able to explore new things Earth had to offer. Since music had them both so taken, they were amazed to realise they could make their own music. Josh favoured drums and trumpet, and Tyler tried a bit of everything. Piano became the thing he played most of, and somehow they were happy.

Somehow, Tyler was smiling on the streets and no one looked twice, because people smiled every day. Somehow, bright hair and colourful designs on Josh’s skin weren’t too out of place either. Colour and sound and happiness was all around, and sure, there was still grey and sadness and numbness, and Josh would have a panic attack if he went somewhere colourless or too quiet, but things were better. The marks on Tyler’s back had faded to raised lines, and Josh could trace the scar on his thumb that the mechanical bird had left and think, _not everything that ship gave me was bad_.

Tyler proposed to him with a mechanical bird, because it wasn’t like the tradition of a ring meant anything to them anyway. Josh had seen so many things he couldn’t have possibly imagined a year ago, and Tyler was the most unbelievable of them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gee that was an adventure. there was space n lizards n mechanical birds which made my love of fuckin clockwork a bit too obvious. i didnt kno what was happening at any one point and im not sure any of y'all did either. but chaptered fics r p chill!! i might do another (hopefully better planned) chaptered fic at some point idk!!


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